Devon TRF Group Forum

Wheely · Expert

Parental Decisions - "It ain't easy"

Pete · Devon's Best

My parents would not support my desire for a motorbike at all.
Quite happy to put me through my car test and give me a car though.
Too many funerals of biker friends that I attended whilst still at school must have influenced them I guess but parents are supposed to be protective and can't blame them for that.
I had to pay for my own bike test, and finance my own bike, that decision at least was easy.

Troy will respect your decisons whatever you decide. He knows now what you want to protect him from. Ironically such mishaps as his accident are harder for the families to deal with than the kids who don't have choices to make, just pain and rehabilitation to go through. If he isn't happy without a bike then his mom and dad won't be happy either. Time will tell and at least he has plenty of that so wait and see.

wardy · Clubman A

Mmmm I can see his dilemma to - mx or table tennis, table tennis or mx ???? Ooooo decisions decisions

In all seriousness why not just let him ride In moderation easing back into it perhaps with some lessons on how to jump properly and safely, there's quite a few mx stars locally who do lessons.

How we react to injury or trauma as a kid shapes our whole lives so why not use it as a learning curve to improve rather than a reason to give up on something he obviously loves.

doug9270 · Powermonger!!

It is unlikely that this type accident will happen again, my only advise if Tory decides to carry on racing is to get some professional training and or change to enduro, Trials.

chrisoncbr · Expert

Yes, it's a tough one. My folks were dead set against bikes but the bug had bitten hard and there was no way of stopping me. Had some nasty crashes too. If he's keen, there's no way of stopping it and putting off the inevitable will only cause him to get resentful. You'll have to play it by ear.

Bob Adams · Clubman A

How about imtroducing him to trials, great sport with most of the same ingredients but without the speed and jumps.

TTR · Powermonger!!

I'm already in trouble with parents for apparently encouraging my eldest grandson's interest in motorbikes cry

In my view MX is safer than sports biking!

There isn't a win/lose position on this. Just make sure it isn't your interest that is guiding the decisions. We don't always consciously see that.....

Brian

jacks · Expert

doug9270 wrote:
It is unlikely that this type accident will happen again, my only advise if Tory decides to carry on racing is to get some professional training and or change to enduro, Trials.

Wholeheartedly agree with doug and Matt. When my boys were mx ing, starting about ten years ago now, we were extremely lucky to be able to get some training for them from

the wonderful dave thorpe, who taught them how to jump, ride smooth, save their energy. This was at Littlehempston track, not an easy track at the best of times. And he was fantastic with the boys. Mind you this didn't stop them crashing , but again we were lucky to get away with only minor (collar bone) injuries. They learnt so much being part of mx, but we also really enjoyed the days when they did enduros, as there was much less pressure and a friendlier paddock/pits.

Also a good point from Brian.

gaschef · Devon's Best

Learning to ride is one thing, Training to race is another, learning how to fall properly is something else which very few people actually get, admittedly there will always be the freak accident that no amount of training or equipment will save you from, but learning how to fall can give you the edge. Probably the best training is Judo or Freestyle Wrestling, The training I got at an early age has saved me countless times, I would recommend it. It is also something physical that he can do that also trains the mind.

Johnnyboxer · Clubman B

Bob Adams wrote:
How about imtroducing him to trials, great sport with most of the same ingredients but without the speed and jumps.

Trials, would be my view too

As a kid, I had a bad schoolboy MX crash and took up Trials instead............................never looked back and i much preferred it

Gasgas23 · Clubman B

from the young persons point of view. i crashed mx when i was 16, broke pelvis pretty good, air ambulance, ICU etc etc missed most of my GCSE year of school.

mother, dead against riding in the first place let alone after that. dad, obvs didnt like it but if thats what i want to do then hes happy.

but i would be sooo board if i couldnt ride. so i wont stop till an injury physically stops me doing it. no other sports comes close to the fun of mx, even trials or trail riding.

BUT, im not a parent so dont know the feeling of seeing a child go through that.

slider rider · Clubman B

When you have your own child and they start riding and gets hurt you do feel responsible because you encourage them to ride. When they get hurt, then you want them to give it up.

It's a no win situation, you don't want to see your kids hurt, also you don't want them to give up. I did see Wheely's son at Whiteway Barton he did look pretty peed off to be fair (and I don't blame him) but his health comes first. When he is old enough to make his mind up then maybe you should let him do what he enjoys doing. I do know what it's like to have a child hurt my daughter got hurt in a car crash with a knobb head and broke her collar bone, I think she was lucky but I was in pieces when I have a call from the police. The answer is what do you do m....

V Twin Funster · Expert

Mark............ follow your heart, mate.

You will do what is right for Troy and yourself smile

jt · Powermonger!!

slider rider wrote:
When he is old enough to make his mind up then maybe you should let him do what he enjoys doing.

Yep, cause he wants to....or not......and he doesn't feel pressured or guilty either way.

I have 2 teenagers so know how you feel - I also remeber as a child doing stuff I didn't really want to just because I thought it would upset Dad if I didn't, and didn't do stuff I wanted to do (and regret it now) cause I thought it would upset him if I did.......

Some of those things I did 'for dad' I really didn't enjoy back then, but later in life when I did them 'for me' I did wink I like my children to live their own lives - not mine, I will help and support them in doing what THEY WANT to do smile

Wheely · Expert

Thanks for all replies. I'm certainly not pushing him to continue riding - and actually prodding him in the other direction. But I will let him decide and we'll ease back into in whenever that will be (probs early 2014 at some practice tracks.
He has had a few training sessions - nothing recently, and thet dont come about that often (unless anyone knows different).
He is not interested in trials - neither watching nor taking part - and to be honest it doesnt interest me that much either.
Not sure about the enduro scene, there's not so much of it around I dont think (especially for youngsters) - but I'll keep an open mind to this one.

Oh and I must confess I didnt realise how much his racing was zapping me of free cash and time. Since his accident the cash flow is looking good and me and girlfriend have had more 'us' time (much to her delight) and we've afforded a couple of kayak's and some equipment which, once purchased, then becomes a pretty fantastic hobby (especially when the sea is 5 minutes walk away from your front door). I cant rememeber the last time I spent an evening bike fettling in the garage (especially as mine's used rarely at the mo) - although I do miss this to some degree.

Can't win............... the joys of being a parent. But wouldn't change it for the world !!

Kwaka Geoff · Clubman A

Wheely wrote:
............... the joys of being a parent. But wouldn't change it for the world !!

Having only just become a Dad for the first time, despite all the sleepless nights I've had in the last 10 days I couldn't agree more with Marks closing statement! aww and I've all these type of decisions yet to come hmm