AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
BMW Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Beautiful Models Wanted Big Money Works Bought My Wife Bring More Women
BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CADILLAC Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE Darn Overhauls Do Get Expensive Darn Old Dudes Going Everywhere Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine Old Dads Garage Experiment Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FERRARI Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT Failure In Italian Automotive Technology Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Fix it again, Tony! Fix It All the Time Found In A Trashcan Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable Fancy Oil Recycling Device Fast On Race Day Fast Only Rolling Downhill Fault Of R&D Fireball On Rear Damage First On Race Day First On Recall Day First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily For Off Road Driving For Old Retired Drunks Found On Road, Dead Found On Rubbish Dump Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
GEO Get Everything Overpriced Got Everything Overhauled
GMC Garage Man's Companion Get More Cash! Gimme My Checkbook! God's Mechanical Curse Got A Mechanic Coming? Greasy Messy Contraption Great Mountain of Crap Greatest Mistake Created
HONDA Had One, Never Did Again Hang On, Not Done Accelerating Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
HUMMER Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable
HYUNDAI Here's Y U Never Drive An Import Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Jeep Just Empty Every Pocket Just Expect Every Problem Just Eats Every Penny Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Jaguar Just A Guess U Are Rich
Kia Keep Inside Asia Keep It Away! Kick It's [censored] Killed In Action Killer's Imported Asset Kiss It Away Korea Invades America Korean Imitation Accord Korea's Imported Accident
LAMBORGHINI Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image
LOTUS Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
Maserati Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
MERCEDES My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
NISSAN Need I Say Something About Nothing Never In Season Simply A No-show
OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky [censored] Crap
PORSCHE Plenty Of Repairs Service Can't Help Everything Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB Sad Attempt At Beauty Send Another Automobile Back Some [censored] Actually Boughtit! Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards Styling Absent After Buyout Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
SATURN Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)
TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto This One You Oughta Tow Away To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
